Mom: Your cousin’s wedding is around the corner; use this whitening cream, brighten that skin of yours.
Yep! that is what my mom said.
I had a good day today, I have the finals coming up; I just finished a subject— relieved! I had lectures cancelled— whoowoo! double the joy. Ate a double burger, no regrets. Then My mom comes up to me and and said what she said, a typical act of her. she just ruined my day.
I am a dark skinned girl; I’ve come to accept it. Yes, it took me 12 hard years of humiliation and pain— but I’ve come to accept it. Through those painful years I had no support no one who would accept me for who I am. And I’ve come to conclusion that my mom, my parents actually, love me for being their child, being of their genes, but not for the person who I am; not my thoughts; principles; values and how I look. Therefore, I had no support of the closest people I have.
I still have a minute believe that I look better with lighter skin, yet reality contrasts and I’m living with it.
My parents constant pointing on how my skin is dark, and how I look like a country side person (as a persons who never took care of themselves due working to provide the essential life necessities) or in other words, a farmer. My self-esteem was completely killed; my respect for myself was nonexistent. I hated myself; loathed it. believed I didn’t deserve to speak; to have fun nor to enjoy anything.
I need a hug.
Poor me wallahi.